What's Love Got To Do With It? 5 Questions About Love for You & Your Spouse
Lisa: Drew and I met 23 years ago when he was in Chiropractic school at Life and I was at Emory University. Drew and his friends would come to the medical school library at Emory to study. I would study at the med library because it was across the street from my dorm. We were introduced by Drew's friend and would all go out to eat for study breaks. Drew and I were friends for 4 months before we ever dated. Drew asked me out on our first date on February 6th and we went to a dance club. We spent most of the night talking for hours learning about each other. Our lives changed from that night on.
Drew: It was September 1987. Life library was maybe ¼ the size it is now, with few books and fewer places to sit. My friend and I had this crazy idea that maybe if we went far enough away from our apartments to not easily make it back home to nap or eat, we could get a lot of work done. Little did I know studying at the Emory Med School library would be so life-changing. After I met her, every time I was at the library I would go to the water fountain a thousand times just so I could stop at her table and briefly chat with her. She was just so fun to talk to. Still is, 20 + years later.
2. You and your spouse both have the commonality of working or studying at Life University. How does it feel to have that in common?
Lisa: Drew & I, early on, decided we wanted to work together on our mission of helping others and promoting health. We created a plan to design our life. Here we are 20+ years later sharing a location for our private practice and working at Life University together. I love the energy at Life U and the ability to share the philosophy, vitalism, chiropractic and special people with my husband. How many people can say that they work in the same location and love being together everyday? We also have the ability to have our son present with us. He is currently in high school and at Life U with dual enrollment. Our son comes to seminars and events with us. My husband and I always try to meet for a kiss or a quick hello on campus, just to share our love for each other.
Drew: We are extraordinarily blessed. Few couples get to share their work life with each other, let alone being passionate about what they do. We both adore chiropractic, and still after this many years of marriage plot and scheme to find more ways to spend time with each other. Being at Life gives us the best of both worlds. We get to do something we love and believe in while spending some extra time with each other. It must look funny to otherswe are constantly texting back and forth, trying to coordinate where we are so we can grab a hug.
3. What strengthens your marriage?
Lisa: We base our love on the following path: G-d, family, chiropractic. This foundation helps us decide which decisions are right for us as a couple. Our marriage is based on love, trust, compassion, philosophy and positivity. The journey is one we share together every step of the way. It is amazing to be more in love today after almost 20 years of marriage. We honor and cherish each other daily and constantly work on our relationship. We do everything together from the moment we wake up with a ritual of stating our intention for the day, reading, prayer, working out, making breakfast, listening to motivational tapes, texting throughout the day and always connecting and sharing our day with each other. Every day is a blessing and miracle we get to spend together.
Drew: The bedrock of a successful marriage is honesty and integrity. There is no substitute for these characteristics. Years ago, everyone told us that wed stop holding hands and showing other displays of affection once the honeymoon period is over. We have set out to prove them all wrong. Another key attribute is getting rid of the concept of balance. There is no such thing. Its always 100%-100%. You cant give 50% to something and expect the kind of results that only 100% can give you. Add to these things lots of laughter, smiles, humor, and dont forget hugs.
4. What kinds of things do you like to do together as a couple?
Lisa: Most of all, Drew and I like to spend time together. We love to go for walks in nature, go to waterfalls, and roller blade together. We love to watch a thought provoking movie or go to a seminar that challenges our thought process so we can discuss it. Drew and I love talking. We focus on our goals, our vision and our purpose. I love when we sit in front of our fireplace or go in our hot tub together. How many people can say they love being with their significant others and are always trying to find ways to spend more time together?
Drew: We love challenging each other. We try to find things to bring us to higher levels of awareness. Whether it is going to a Life U basketball or rugby game, listening to Jim Rohn or Zig Ziglar audio tapes, reading books like The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People or The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, or watching movies like Defiance or I-Robot, we always find a way to bring chiropractic philosophy into the mix. We have this idea that everything matters, so we try to really plan whatever we do to really matter. My favorite time spent with Lisa is a tie between going to some really awesome seminar and talking for hours about it, versus going to an incredibly gorgeous place out in nature like Sedona, and talking about that for hours too.
5. What is the most challenging thing about being married?
Lisa: The most challenging thing about being married is having to be an adult. It is much more fun to be giddy and laugh. Responsibility from the outside world makes it difficult to have the quantity of time with each other that we would like. Relationships are a work in progress. Our challenges, when handled correctly, help us learn from our mistakes and become the best people we can be. We try to make every minute count when we are together. We have to work harder today to keep our relationship energized and exciting. Falling in love is easy; staying in love is a constant work in progress. We have tried to master the secret to an exceptional and incredible loving relationship that is more powerful today than it was 20+ years ago.
Drew: Clearly the hardest thing we have to deal with is time. Quality has to make up for quantity. When we first started dating, while Lisa was at Emory and I was at Life, time seemed so endless, so eternal. Now with both of us working at Life U and having private practices and being parents and playing sports and all the other stuff involved, time really has been whittled down. I have taken lately to a quantum view of time. Time can be Newtonian, like 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour. Or time can be Quantum, like when you spend an hour doing something you truly enjoy with someone you love, and it is described as time flying. Contrast this with sitting in a boring meeting and in the same 60 minutes is described as time drags. It is the same amount of time, just a different use of it. So we try to maximize our time together. Make it count. Cause everything matters!
Ask these questions of you and your spouse, write down the answers, and then read them to each other. This simple exercise gave us 2 hours of awesome conversation and lots of good feelings. Try it and tell us what you think!
Adapted from the February Love at Life newsletter, Life University, Marietta GA